3xil3

Malay report

2008-08-25T20:03:00.007+08:00

Format Laporan

Tajuk (title) : LAPORAN SAMBUTAN KEARMONIAN KAUM

Perenggan 1 / Permulaan (paragraph 1)
- Tarikh (date)
- Penganjur (organiser)
- Kegiatan/aktiviti (name of activity)
- Tempat (place)
- Masa (time)
- Para perserta (participants)/pengunjung (visitors) (siapa, berapa ramai)
- Harga (price)

Perenggan 2
- Maklamat/ objektive/ tujuan
> 2 objectives have to be written

Perenggan 3-4
- Terangkan (describe/explain) kegiatan/aktiviti/acara (event) /program+perasaan peserta
(feelings)
>Write 3 different objctives

Perenggan 5 (akhir/pentutup)
- Sambutan para erserta
- Perasaan
- Faedah
- Pendapat/ cadangan (opinion)

Laporan ditulis oleh
(Nama pelapor) reporter's name
Ketua/ Pengerusi (tempat)

Laporan Darmawisata Ke Negeri Sembilan

Pada hari Sabtu yang lalu, seramai tiga puluh orang (pelajar) dan tiga orang (guru) telah menyertai(take part in) berdarawisata ke Negeri Sembilan. Mereka bertolak dari sekolah dengan menaiki bas pada pukul 9.30 pagi. Mereka tiba k Negeri Sembilan pada pukul 4.00 petang.

Di darmawisata itu, mereka dapat melihat pelbagai jenis makanan, berkenali dengan budaya melayu orang Negeri Sembilan dan berasa tinggal dalam rumah kampung. (3 objectives)

(what was done there, 3 activities)

Laporan ditulis oleh
3xil3
Ketua penganjur

Malay letter writing format

2008-08-25T18:49:00.007+08:00

Malay letter-writing format

(own name)
(own address)
Singapura 123456

25 hb Ogos 2008

Menemul sahabat, Saudari Maya
Dengan selamatnya

Saudari

Ketika saya menulis warkah ini, saya berada dalam keadaan sihat sejahtera. Bagaimana keadaan saudari sekarang? Saya berharap saudari berada dalam keadaan sihat walafiat dan dapat menjalankan tugas seharian dengan baik.

Tujuan saya menulis warkah ini ialah untuk memberitahu saudari...

Hingga di sini surat saya kali ini. Jika ada kesempatan, saya akan menulis lagi. Salam sayang (family)/ sejahtera (friend) untuk saudari sekeluarga.

Yang benar
3xil3

Quiz

2008-06-03T20:06:00.002+08:00

Quiz

I'm tagged by: Xinny

Remove 1 question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged. Whoever does the tag will have blessings from all.
*Unfair leh! I have like how many people to tag oO? Not to mention some have already been tagged ><*

1) Have you given your first kiss away?
Nope

2) Emo cool?
No way... But everyone does tend to become that. Just a matter of how one expresses themself.

3) Where is the place that you want to go the most?
Nowhere in particular, just a place where I can have peace... FINALLY -.-

4) If you can have one dream to come true, what would it be?
For school to be non-exsistant.

5) Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
Uh, yea? I guess.

6) Who/What are you afraid to lose the most now?
The people I love. Friends and family

7) If you win $1 million, what would you do?
Save a portion, donate a portion, invest another portion.

8) If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
Nope.

9) List out 3 good points of the person (Xinny) who tagged you.
Lame, funny ad blur xP

10) What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
Plenty of stuff, too many to lists out. Most importantly he cannot smoke or drink must be funny and NO vulgarities >< (does not swear)

11) Which type of person do you hate the most?
Liars, backstabbers and hypocrites. People who judge everything just by its cover.

12) What is your ambition?
No idea. I take a day as it comes.

13) If you have faults, would you rather the people around you point out to you or would you rather they keep quiet?
Rather they keep quiet. Hey, they're my faults... I know them ok ><

14) What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
Not to junge people, and to think positive whenever possible.

15) Are you a shopaholic or not?
Not. I hate shopping.... unless its for an unlimited supply of romance novels ><

16) If you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change?
My looks? (though i hate it when ppl keep harping on their looks ><), my stubbornness and my selfishness.

17) What do you usually do at home?
Play the computer, sleep or slack.

18) Any weird habits or quirks?
Erm... what the definition of weird oO?

19) How do you think the person who tagged you can change to be a better person ? (It's perfectly fine to leave it blank if you think he/she is perfect).
Um, she can stop bullying me >< and to be less blur? xP

20) What would you be doing if you were not taking this quiz?
Slacking, maybe linking someone.

people I tag:
1. Sonni
2. Sun Nu
3. Jason dear
4. Bad Jie (new addition, just linked ><)
5. rest all been tagged
6. So erm... Foxy family? - Mummi
7. So erm... Foxy family? - Cikky
8. So erm... Foxy family? - erm... anyone else there? ><

~ 3xil3 ~

"Blind cinema"

2008-05-30T22:58:00.002+08:00

Ok so I had to write something for my english
Something from a blind person's point of veiw
This is what i came up with ><

In the darkness of my everyday life
I saw a speck of light
It was vague but still i saw it
A slight brightness in my vision

Not everything is lost,
There is still hope for me
To see
To survive
To just be me

As I was led by the hand,
Like a small kid
Through who knows where
With lefts and rights
And complicated turns through a maze
I felt excitement bubble within me

Cold air hits me
As I hear the light jingle of the bell
a sign of the opening door

Upon stepping in
I was overwhelmed with the excited chatter that greeted me
I was ushered to my seat
And welcomed cheerfully and warmly

One did not have to see
To know that everyone was happy
Laughter could be heard from every corner
People were genuinely enjoying themselves

Here I would not be looked down upon
Here was where I belonged
Where I could be me
I felt right at home
I was comfortable and happy

~ 3xil3 ~

you just don't see it

2008-05-28T23:13:00.004+08:00

You just don't see it...

You don't see what's behind the scenes,
You don't see what I really do,
You don't see how hard I try,
To fit the bill you dearly want me to

You don't know half of what I've done
You don't know the truth
You just come up with you own conclusions
And accuse me of all untruths

You don't see how I suffer through,
You know not what I do,
You just conclude from what you see
And say that's all I do

You know not how I feel
The betrayal that tears right through
You know not what I know
For I pretend there's nothing else to

I pretend to know nothing
I leave it as it is
I wait for you to tell me
But it just doesn't begin...

I find out
From anyone else but you
I'm yet the last again
To be told the truth...

I'm a so-called friend of yours
But i don't really feel it
I know nothing about you
Cause you just won't let me in...

I feel the hurt from deep within
A knife stabbed and twisted in the gut
The gushing blood that pours forth from me
A wound that shall forever scar...

A memory
A mark
A reminder
That i have failed

Yet again...

~ 3xil3 ~

Poem 1 (zeppy & me)

2008-05-19T19:31:00.009+08:00

Random-ness by Zeppy and me (19/5/08)

Perfect by nature
A natural beauty
A magnificent creature
Oooo cutie!

I love your surprise.
I love your sigh
I love your "device" (levi's <-- we were thinking of using this , sounded cool )
I love u, that's why...

I hate your lies
I hate your disguise
I hate your applepies
Mostly , i hate your goodbyes...

The abrupt wakening
Back to reality
On my finger lies a wedding ring
*Sigh*..back to reality

Okie dokie pokie~
So combined effort again~
Yay~ Got e new partner to crap with xPPP (rite o.o? ><)
So yea from this we all can tell zeppy's a romantic~
YAY-ness ><><><

~ 3xil3 ~

Jenny & me poem 5

2008-05-09T21:03:00.007+08:00

Random-ness 5 ~

School

Consecutive tests
Constant headache
Study fests
I need a break!!

Doubt you shall not
Take the plunge
That’s all you’ve got
Down the ravine you lunge

Within the chest
The treasure was bared
Where the heart rest
Love that cannot be compared

Falling harder
Under your spell
There’s no other
Why can’t you tell

Sweet memories turned sour
I have but one thing to say
You hold the power
Just for today

Your fall, my ascension.
A stab in the dark
Your death, my transgressions
An eternal mark

Forever empty
Reality’s gone
It’s not what seams
The dusk till dawn

Evil

Burn in the fires of damnation
Revenge is, sweet
For your transgression
In hell we meet

Sympathy for Lady Vengeance
Double-barreled shot gun
Swept through the entrance
Sadistic fun

This one is really random.
There is absolutely no link at all.
So yea, you should get my point.
They're just random phrases strung together.
This is what happens when we start off from where we stop another day.
The stuff just don't seem to link.

~ 3xil3 ~

Translation

2008-05-04T19:30:00.004+08:00

Translations

Acorrding to my mum these malay lines are from a song.
I found the meaning to be touching and meaningful, and i though maybe it would be useful in somewayt, so i'm writing it here.
To make it easier for me to remember the meanings and also for you to understand (xP nice aint i ?><), I'm translating it. So... yea xD

Dalam dakapan senja aku renungi gambar wajahmu. Aku rasa amat berat untuk melepaskan dikau pergi. Dingin hembusan bayu, lemah longlai langkah kakiku dan lambaianmu kini kian jauh dari mata.

In the twilight I stare (look closely) at the picture. I feel very heavy to let you go. Cold wind blowing , the way i walk is very listless and the waves are getting further from my sight.

Malang sungguh bencana menimpa, engkau telah pergi untuk selamanya; tak kembali. Pada saat terakhir, aku melihat paras wajahmu, engkau bisikkan haanya sayang kepadaku.

A very unfortunate accident occurred, you're gone forever, never coming back. In that moment, I saw your face, you whispered that you loved me.

Belum puas ku menikmati.
kesan kasih sayang..
kau terpaksa pergi.

Before I could savour all ur love, U had to go.

Andainya aku tiada lagi di sisimu, janganla kamu bersedih hati,
Andainya aku tiada lagi di sisimu, janganla kau memencil diri,
Bayangkanlah masa-masa kita bersama.

Kenanglah daku dalam doamu...... selalu

If i'm no longer by your side, don't you be sad,
If i'm no longer by yout side, don't you be lonely,
recall times we were together.

Remember me in your prayers... always...

Ok, anyway decided I would not "poem-ize" today ><.
Haiz, this weekend was a waste of time.
I am so NOT proud of myself.
Totally wasted my time away when i could have used it better on studying.
ROAR~
I'm seriously frustrated with myself...
Really needa be more disiplined and self-motivated.
I'm spending too much time on the com, and i definately needa cut down...

RESOLUTION: CUT DOWN ON COM TIME.

Hah... let's see how well i stick to that...I gotta get out of the house man.
Especially during the weekends...
I don't know where... anywhere... somewhere where i can study and all.
Air-conditioned places are out... that leaves me with...?
GRRR
Gotta sleep earlier too...
Because of my late sleeping habits i'm falling asleep in schl.
On weekends i wake up so late that half of the day is gone.
The lack of sleep and how late i sleep and wake up, makes me feel wierd.
I end up napping at odd times, feeling tired almost all the time.

RESOLUTION 2: SLEEP EARLIER

Hah, ok that's one that is unlikely to happen...
At least i should try to sleep by 11 on a normal school day.
And maybe erm 2 by the weekend?
Well.. it's worth saying... and i gotta try. ><
All words and no action will do nothing.
So i gotta move that butt of mine and move it move it.
~>< ><~

~ 3xil3 ~

Jenny & me poem 4

2008-05-04T18:31:00.005+08:00

Random-ness again (jenny & me 4)

I took umbrage
At what you said
About my age
During the raid

Within the womb
The fetus grew
In a tomb
The dead knew (fav para)

A vicious cycle
All over again
In a pickle
There’s no gain

Out the windows
And into the fields
Hidden in the shadow
The effort yields

Daughters of cacophony
Sons of discord
Instruments of symphony
Forming a chord (fav para)

Cheated and lied to
Sweet memories turned sour
Words for you I have two
Girl power.

Afraid to reveal oneself
Keeping the heart under lock and key
Tame of secrets at the back of the shelf.
For the beholder to see

The Dance of death
To dine in hell
Whipped from its sheath
The sword bodes not well.

A tree falls in a forest
A life long gone
In silent protest
Forever scorn

The song of ever
Melodies everlasting
Playing forever
Very soothing

Making sense of money
Redundant and useless
I’d rather be with my honey
All hot and breathless (What the Hell? <--- Jenny said that xP)

Embrace the darkness
Shy away from the light
Let go the warmness
Into the night

The sands of time
Slowly dwindle
Not worth a dime
It’s worth a bundle

Bound and shackled
Left to decay
The old witch cackled
How sadly gay

~ 3xil3 ~

Portfolio poem (black and the white)

2008-05-03T01:45:00.003+08:00

Lol was checking through my stuff and found this.
Used it for my protfolio, so there was sorta a picture.
Don't have the pictue here so cant put it up xD

The black and the white

This picture
A blur of faces
A mere shadow of its original form
All life drained out
There is no life
No colour left

I am but one person
Lingering in the background
A patch of white against the black
An unknown
An unseen

I am a part
Yet apart
Together
Yet alone
Lonely

Like a sprit
A soul
Looking upon the others
Floating
Hovering
Watching

You look
But you don’t see
You overlook
And you surpass me
You don’ know

That is was me…

~ 3xil3 ~

Just to fill the space...

2008-05-02T21:38:00.005+08:00

Just a body to fill that place...

Naught but a figure head
A body in its stead
To fill in that space
Keeping up to your pace

Just a title
Our communication little
Its uncomfortable
The silence formidable

Ignored when seen
Ignorance over what had been
Lies told over
You can feel it hover

You seem unreal
Innocence fetal
Ignorance is bliss
So just leave me out of this

I could not care less
About this big mess
Since you won't give two hoots
Only care about the loots

There's another
Who you'd rather be together
I pretend not to mind
Indeed am I not too kind?

You exploit what i give
And continue to live
My heart withers and dies
As the time flies

Everyone can gather
That it is to be either
But oblivious you remain
Right in this domain

The searing pain
Drives me insane
I pretend to laugh
But its just not enough

The unseen tears
Increasing my fears
The unexpressed hurt
When you treat me like dirt

The silent sorrow
Stretches till tomorrow
The pent up frustration
Is a mere continuation

Of the whole journey
That leaves me lonely
Craving for something
That all love songs sing

~ 3xil3 ~

2008-04-23T22:32:00.004+08:00

Pain?

I'm telling you the truth
They're all facts
Listen will ya!
It's no act

I Know
You hate me so
For what, I don't know
Just forget it and go

The blinding pain
Overwhelms me
The facts are lain (laid or lain arh?)
So leave me be

My vision's blurred
I can't see
My heart's blamed
For deluding me

Just a facade
A shell of false pretence
The pain will never fade
It's really intense

Inscribed on my heart
Carved into my bones
It's a work of art
Made by hones

The memories fresh
I live the dream
Blood flowing from the gash
The echoing scream

Unforgettable pain
I don't want to remember
But the scars are lain (laid or lain arh?)
The evidence forever

Anywhere but here
I'd rather be
If not for what were
I'd be with thee (is this right o.o?)

Perfect by nature
imitated by man
No more a future
All seen is wan (not sure of pronunciation so may not rhyme)

The yawning hole
Within my soul
Plays the role
In reaching your goal

Lies heaped so high
Hidden deep within
The time draws nigh
Brewing trouble will begin

Hone - A fine-grained whetstone for giving a keen edge to a cutting tool.
- A tool with a rotating abrasive tip for enlarging holes to precise dimensions.

Wan - Suggestive or indicative of weariness, illness, or unhappiness; melancholy: a wan expression.

Ah this is even more crap.
As usual it's the spur of the moment thing.
So yea, this is what i came up with.

~ 3xil3 ~

There are times...

2008-04-21T23:27:00.003+08:00

There are times...
When i really wish...
You would give a thought..
To this person...

Me

There are times...
When i wish ...
I wasn't me..
Maybe then...

I would be seen

There are times...
When i hate myself so...
For feeling this unreasonable pain...
And jealousy...

In me

There are times...
When i wish...
You would think of me..
Instead of only you...

This person here

There are times...
When i wish I could be first...
On that list..
Of people important to you...

Important

There are times...
When i wish I could just disappear...
Then i won't feel...
Then i won't think..

I will be free

There are times...
When i wish you were just there...
To listen to me...
To hear..

To know I'm not alone

There are times...
When I wish you saw me...
Instead of right through...
Instead of forgetting...

Me

There are times...
I wish you would remember...
I was your friend...
I feel i no longer am...

Anymore

There are times...
When i wonder...
What happened between us..
And i do this...

Write meaningless crap
Here.

~ 3xil3 ~

Jenny and me poem 3

2008-04-19T03:24:00.003+08:00

Random-ness (jenny and me 3)

Surrender you heart
Relinquish your soul
Free your spirt
Compormise your freedom (spoil the flow rite -.- jenny's fault xP)
Compromise your goal (sounds better? changed to this ><)

Your mere existence
Irks my soul
Holds me shackled
Within your hold (changed jenny's line -.- couldn't read what was written)

Afraid of loneliness
Cause for alarm
A shell of false pretense
To keep out the harm (changed also, since i couldn't read jenny's writing again -.-)

My fall will be for you
It tore my heart right through
Felt your blade
A sharp pain
And i am slain

A shell of false pretense
An eternal facade
An expressionless mask
Her existence a farce
No longer does she thrust (best para as yet , in this "poem" that is)

She's living my dream
She faces my wrath
I want revenge
But thee blocked my path
Now my rage will singe

Deep within
Lying beneath
The underlying truth
Will be revealed
The secret killed

Ok I know this "poem" sucked even more than the front few.
Like duh.
There was no topic at all, not to mention there is no pattern to it.
Just random phrases that stood out from the norm, which we had in mind.
So we just wrote it as it went.
There is no link throughout these paragraphs.

~ 3xil3 ~

ME again -.-

2008-04-14T20:54:00.005+08:00

GRRR-ness~ BOREDOM~! (other than do hw tt is)

I turn away
My cheeks aflame

What an embarresment
To see my name

Called time and time
Again and again

To hear them call out
In the waiting game

I keep quite
I pretend not to know

Who were you calling?
I really don't know

I turn around
upon your tap

As you lay your hand
Upon my back

It feels so warm
It feels so good

I feel the loss
Almost too soon

You turn away
As you see another

And i'm left alone
To wonder

Is the other of more importance?
What happens to me now?

Am i suddenly forgotten?
Am i still around?

I walk away
You don't notice

You're too busy
Talking to the other

I pretend it's nothing
I pretend not to care

But inside
I'm bleeding

I weep for the company
I never will get

I long for the care
I never will have

I wish for a friend
To call my own

One who will not forget me
When that other comes home

I feel inferior
I feel second

Always less important
Dropped when un-needed

I can't do anything
You'll think i'm petty

In fact i think i am too
So why wouldn't you agree?

I hate myself
For that ball of jealousy

That spread like wildfire
And builds up within

Waiting to explode
When it hits its limit

I hope that day will not
Be close to come as yet

I want to conquer it
Before it gets out of hand

It's eating me on the inside
It's keeping me from my friends

Why can't i just leave it be
And live happily ever after

Maybe because there's no such thing
To let it last forever

So to keep it down
I keep my distance from you

Afraid that overwhelming force
Will erupt if too near you

But i really missed those times
When i had you for myself

When i felt that it wasn't because of the other
That you became my friend

Now i feel like a third party
A part of the parcel

It seems you got me too
When you only wanted the other

I'm really sorry it became that way
Which is why i'm trying

To leave it be
And let you see

That we are not together
We are one or the other

To let you have a choice
To let you be free to chose

To chose that person
Or no other

Now with your choice open
All is clear to see

That it was just the other
And not me...

Is it every enough?

2008-04-04T21:34:00.003+08:00

OK it's finally Friday...
The day I've been waiting longingly the minute Monday started.
I'm right here jumping for joy. Yay-ness~

Haiz... ok i really got to learn to stop dreading school so much... maybe only then will it not be so tiring trying to drag myself each day. Pretending that it's what i like has been what I've been doing. It's the only way to go through each school day. Thinking of Friday being a day closer as the days pass, is yet another push. Without this thought, i think i would likely drop dead.

There's always two sides of the coin... The good part --- Its Friday
The bad part --- I've got 3 tests in the upcoming week which i definitely look forward to with much eager-ness. Not to mention I'm probably going to flunk badly..
Studying never seems to be enough.
Perhaps I'm just too dumb eh?

Is it ever enough?

It is ever enough?
To put in your best
To give it your all
Only to be disappointed

time
and
time
again

Is having dreams
Hopes
wishes
All just a fantasy after all?

Why is not having a target such a bad thing?
When you know you will never make it
When you know you will never meet those expectations
Heaped onto you

Why is it you make me feel worse than i do?
Step on me when I'm down
Treat me like garbage
Unworthy of you

Why is it I'm never important?
Always unseen
Always disappointed
Always unimportant

Why is it you expect so much?
When you know...
I'm stupid
And that I'll let you down

Why is it i feel alone amidst a crowd?
A part yet apart
Together yet separate
Alive yet dead

Why do i feel unwanted?
Maybe because i am
Maybe because it's true
Maybe i just want to be with you...

Why is it you just brush me aside?
Use me when needed
Dump me when done
And then ignore my mere existence

Why is it you only never comfort me?
When I need you there beside me
When I need it dearly
When I want it so

Does the sight of me irk you so?
Am i that hideous?
Am i that bad?
Am i had?

Am i nothing in your eyes?
Just a piece of junk
An ornament
A back up

I crave you attention
Even a minute of your time
A second of your notice
That you're by my side

That no matter what reason
You won't forget me
Leave me be
once you're of no need for me

I want to know
That i mean something real
That i do matter
That I do exist...

In your eyes...

~ 3xil3 ~

Emo - jenny & me poem 2

2008-03-30T23:26:00.006+08:00

EMO - by jenny & me (27/3/08)

Slit my wrists
I can take it no more
Suicide's on my list
Bleeding from every pore

Soul torn asunder
Hanging by a thread
Spirit about to shatter
Leaving me in dread

Dead to the world
Forgotten by all
Agony untold
Doomed to fall

All the same
Take me away
You are to blame
My decision will not sway

Afflicted with this malediction
Addicted to the pain ( I <3 this - xd )
Wish my life was a work of fiction
My dragons would be slain (fiction... princess... knight in shining armor... get it? ><)

No such thing as symbolism
It is pure facts
Only realism
Never acts

Sins swept beneath the rug (xd)
Lies tucked under the bed
Secretes never to be dug
To oblivion, it will fade... (sam)

Ok, yet another poem we did during lesson.
The last stanza however was contributed by 4 different people, so yea ... each of us 1 line.
Definitely better than the one before.

Something i realised today.
It's so much more easier to write poems that are pessimistic. Words can just come smoothly, rolling out like waves. For optimistic poems... it needs careful thought. To plan, to make it sound light and happy.

embellishment - an ornament or decoration, fictitious addition, as to a factual statement

relic - a surviving memorial of something past, remaining parts or fragments , the remains of a deceased person, something kept in remembrance; souvenir; memento.

infernal - 1. hellish; fiendish; diabolical: an infernal plot.
2. extremely troublesome, annoying, etc.; outrageous: an infernal nuisance.
3. of, inhabiting, or befitting hell.
4. Classical Mythology. of or pertaining to the underworld.

~ 3xil3 ~

Jenny and me poem 1 (you were my bear)

2008-03-28T22:10:00.002+08:00

Randomizing xP

I don't care
You were my bear
Into your lair
I went right there

Thou art not so unkind
So you better make up your mind
Let your tension unwind
So they no longer bind

Feel the rain on your skin
Enjoy the feel of your kin
Passion buring from within
A sharp pain with a pin

Did you ever let in what the world said?
Where you ever in need of my aid?
Did I play this game to become your maid?
Where you tainted me, when laid (WHAT?! So naughty! jenny's comment xP)

Caress the one, the never-fading
Haress the one, the ever-loving
Harness the one, the power ever-lasting
Address the one, the great forever-living
(my favorite paragraphy xD, jenny's too xP)

Bye bye beautiful
Bye bye youthful
Bye bye graceful
Bye bye you fool

Eternally torn apart
Cupid shot my heart
Love to blame in part
An intricate work of art
(one of our better paragraphs in this "poem" ><)

My fall will be for you
My love will end right here with you
A lifetime i never knew
Goodbye to you!

LOL! ok anyway this is an original made by my class patner and me xD
We were so bored during lessons that this was the way we entertained ourselves.
So yea, i didn't fall alseep in class that day xP
Ok so, as you probably should be able to tell, the better lines are all by "jenny" (he's a guy fyi ><). The lines that just spoil the whole effect... are well... MINE. MUAHAHAHAHA

invigorated = full of energy , to give vigour to someone
soliloquy = 自言自语( a drama acted by one person, told in a form of a narrative of oneself ><)

~ 3xil3 ~

Will it ever be the same?

2008-03-23T20:13:00.003+08:00

Will it ever be the same?

I have a hunch
That something will change
That a battle will brew deadly
That nothing will be the same

You've kept things from me
We've drifted further away
I hardly know what's going on now
You won't say

Don't push me away!
I disallow it
Why hide it from me
I'll do you no harm

So spill it all out
I order you to
This silence is killing me
And you too

Will it harm you,
To let me know all?
Won't you feel better,
after it all?

I only want you happy
I just want your smile
Just go ahead and tell me
Let it out awhile

I hate it when you do this
I hate it when you cry
I hate it when you keep things from me
Why bottle it up inside?

I'm right here to listen
I'm right here to stay
I'm right here to vent on
Why not use me instead?

Just please don't keep silent
It kills me inside
I feel helpless
Watching you hold it tight

Don't lie to me
I know you well
I can see right through you
You should know better

Spill it out!
All will be better
Just give it a try
It's no bother

Your secrets are in good hands
Forever safe
I won't tell a soul
I will take it to my grave

No matter the importance
No matter the pain
No one can pry it from me
It's ok

So will you tell me?
Will it ever be the same?
The closeness we once had?
The secretes shared

I'm not sure what i did
I'm not sure what happened
I just want you back with me
I just hope you care

I'll never forget our memories
But if we continue this way
Memories will just be that
Memories....

Do you want it to end this way?
So sudden
So abrupt
So wrong...

If it makes you happy
If it takes away the pain
I'll gladly leave you be
I'll gladly go away...

So tell me this please
Is it all me?
Did i cause our dispute?
Did I force it this way?

I beg your forgiveness
Will you give it to me?
I'm truly sorry
But well.. that's just me...

Ok back to weird inspirations
Ah heck
I've decided not to fight my -.- inspirations and just it take hold of me
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

~ 3xil3 ~

Hope or nope?

2008-03-19T19:50:00.005+08:00

The luring light... Hope oO? ><

I saw a speck of light
In the total darkness
Something bright
It was your kindness

You came to me
And led the way
I never thought there could possibly be
This fateful day

You gave me hope
Took away my sorrows
I held tightly to the rope
For now there is tomorrow

I look forward
To every day
To every word
To every may (maybes >.<)

If not for you
I would not be
If not for you
I would not see

You brought me joy
And filled me with laughter
It's as though you've given me a toy
As though i'm your daughter

I didn't know you cared
I'm glad you do
Now all is bared
Wooo Hooo~

=.= lol! There's alot of problem with my rhyming ><
Couldn't come up with anything of any relevance, so they're just random stuff.
Aparrently there has been a slight change of "inspiration", it's to be of not so depress an inspiration today.
However, it's not rhyming either. In simple words, its horrible ><

English word of the day: emblazon =
To adorn (a surface) richly with prominent markings: emblazon a doorway with a coat of arms. To inscribe (a prominent marking) on a surface: emblazon a cross on a banner.
To make resplendent with brilliant colors.
To make illustrious; celebrate: emblazoning a heroine's deeds in song.

Malay word of the day: Saban = Selalu = every, Saban hari~

Chinese phrase of the day: 一个孤独的身影慢慢地消失在黑暗中.
- A lonely hazy outline of a body slowly vanishes into the darkness.
OK so you'll think oO? Isn't that like Erm... easy? Well... What can i say.. My Chinese is horrible..

~ 3xil3 ~

It's not... It is....

2008-03-13T14:09:00.006+08:00

It's not.... It is....

It's not what I have
It's what I am
That appeals
That beckons
That lures you to me

It's not what's outside
It's what's inside
That matters
That gives meaning
That makes you love me

It's not you
It's me
That stumbles through
That falls right through
That loves you through and through

It's not me
It's you
That lightens my load
That brightens my road
That kissed the toad

It's not the pain
It's the gain
That I took the risk
That I took a chance
That I gave everything for

It's not mine
It's ours
That keeps me moving
That keeps me whole
That keeps me from dying

It's not like
It's love
That holds us together
That plays the glue
That prevents us from breaking into two

It's not coincidence
It's fate
That we met
That we soared
That we lived in perfect harmony

It's not life
It's death
That drains our energy
That makes us appreciate that harmony
That makes us long for eternity

More it's .... It's not's xD

it's not you, It's me
It's not hell, It's heaven
It's not a dream, It's reality
It's not me you want,It's what i have
It not who you are, It's what you are
It's not pain, It's pleasure

lol~ this list can go on forever.... Any common and interesting ones i missed out? ><
It's not
~ 3xil3 ~

EMO-ing -.- again

2008-03-11T23:14:00.007+08:00

I'm so bored...... =.=

Hate you
Hate you not

Hate you
Hate you not

Like you
Like you not

Like you
Like you not

Detest you
Detest you not

Detest you
Detest you not

Love you
Love you not

Love you
Love you not

You must think I'm bored
and
crazy

They all mean the same
They almost look the same
They are all strong feelings

Yes you must think me crazy
Somehow I think myself one too
I have no real reason for spamming

Just needed a way to ease my boredom
And to sort out my feelings
About that person i thought I knew

I thought I knew that person like the back of my hand
But the person proves me wrong constantly
I seriously have my doubts

Maybe it's just me
I just feel real out of place
I don't belong right there

Ah crap great you'll think
She's back to self-pity
LOL it's amusing to see xD

Well... I surprise myself too
No idea where all these crap comes from
It just wrote itself right out..

HAHA you'll say
That's so believable
And you'll -.- at me

LOL you're predictable
easy
but do you know me?

Ah its back to knowing me again
This is idiotic
I feel entirely stupid

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Ignore me why don't you
I feel great too thank you

How long has it been
This silent war

It grows cold
I'm shivering

You're not there
To warm me

I've lost you haven't I?
Nothing will be the same

I let you down
I'm sorry

I hurt you
Nothing can take away the pain

It wasn't on purpose
I swear

That doesn't change much
What's done is done

It cannot be undone
Words cannot be taken back

And you'll remain out of reach
I won't be able to break through the new barrier

That you built up high
So that no one

especially me...
Can enter

Man boredom sure makes me nuts.

GRRRRR

~ 3xil3 ~

Lonely

2008-03-11T22:40:00.005+08:00

God i'm EMO-ing again...
Ah heck no use fighting my "inspirations" (oh i just learnt 鼓舞 = inspire）
So here goes nothing....

~.~.~.~.~.~.~~.~.~.~.~.~.~~.~.~.~.~.~.~~.~.~.~.~.~.~~.~.~.~.~.~.~~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Lonely

Hey, I'm invisible enough as it is
You don't have to rub it in
You talk to me but you look elsewhere
Anything , Anywhere , but at me

Hey, I'm right there for you
You don't have to take advantage of it
You take me for granted
And forget me when you're done

You're preoccupied ,I understand
You're busy ,I let you be
You want to vent ,I let you use me
You leave, without telling me

You want a shoulder, I lend you mine
You want a ear, I listen
You want to talk, I'm right here
You want me gone, I go

You needed your space, I left you alone
You needed time, I waited
You needed encouragement, I stood by your side
You needed another, I left

Where were you when i needed you?
Did you notice me?
Did you see what i went through
Did you feel with me?

Where were you when I needed you?
Did you notice the change?
Did you hear my sorrows
Did you feel my pain?

Where were you when i needed you?
Anywhere else but here
Where were you when i needed you?
Having the time of your life

Is it me?
What did I do?
Have I done wrong?
Please, tell me

Do you know how i feel right now?
I bet you can't tell
I can read you like a book
Pray tell , what do you know about me?

~ 3xil3 ~

My heartfelt apologies~

2008-03-11T00:52:00.006+08:00

My apologies~

Ever got the feeling you did something wrong?
Only you have no idea what it is you did?

Well... I do.
Practically all the time.
That's one reason why i prefer keeping quiet at times. Just in case i say somthing wrongly. Which just may hurt someone accidentally...

I find that if you don't say anything, the less chance of you hurting people or embarassing yourself by saying something entirely stupid.
However, ever since i started getting more "into" online stuff. Ok scratch that, ever since playing audi, you could say I've opened up alot more. I'm 2 totally different people when online and when in school.

I have an extremely horrid temper. I'm extremly unsocialble. I'm have alot of trouble making freinds. And to add on, my personality only seems to repel people from me *shruggs*.

Oh i forgot to add the worst part of me.
I tend to be very spontaneous. I don't think before I talk which is also why in real life i tend to hurt people almost the mintue i open my mouth.

Online however, is a totally different thing. It's a matter of typing, which gives you more time to think and to chose your words wisely. But at times... when your joking or having fun, teasing ...ect I tend to get carried away.

The thing is, i do tend to mistake people's meaning at times. Or i didn't see their earlier part of their conversation because I was occupied typing or reading someone elses conversation. Or maybe was just doing something else.

And then on impluse i just write what first comes to mind. Which is totally not related to the topic, and sorta related. Say i say a word hmm friend for example. I'll just link it to yea she's my friend. And i don't even know who their talking about -.-
If i'm lucky enough we're talking about the same thing ><
If i'm not... and the person happens to be the speaker enemy... I'm in hot water... So yea, I guess I interpreted a conversation wrongly again... HAIZ!
Now i hurt someone and am totally paying the price... Wonderful ain't it?

So the moral of the story is...
1. Talk less
2. Clarify situation before talking
3. Don't know what they talking about keep quiet
4. Talk less sums it all

So i'll be right back to square one.

PS: I'm Sorry~

~ 3xil3 ~

Quizilla titles

2008-03-10T20:47:00.002+08:00

Ok i'm so bored....
I just need to do something.
This just came in handy.

Yes I got a whole load of homework to do... but you should know homework... It's never appealing to do.

So i'm stuck typing nothing of importance.
Lalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaa~
I'm Bored man!
GAHHHHHH

I think boredom is my "inspiration".
So xinny, you now know how my EMO-ness comes about xP
I get myself so bored that i tend to come up with usual things.

Ok so... today is one the days I've had the best sleep ever... Since well... this year, practically slacked the day away... I must say it was a nice feeling. If only i didn't feel so BORED. Ran out of storybooks to read~
(written like an hour ago- 9pm)

YAY!~ I found something to read xD
Yay to quizilla xDDDD
Ok since I'm reading there already i deciede i would write the author's and their stories which i read and keep updated with.

User : ohxmyxjuliet
Title: Coffee, Men, Chocolate [-] Some Things Are Better Rich

User: Delilah121c
Title: The Matchmaker's Promise {-}
Title: Broken crayons (<3 it!)

User: Avata
Title: Say Anything [-]

User: Ms.Marauder
Title: You Had Me At ''I Hate You.''

User: Ladiix3
Title: AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE?! good thing you're beautiful (<3 it!)(takes forever to update though T.T)

User: OmegaHybrid
Title: Navy Seals [Original Story](<3 it!) (takes forever to update too! T.T)

User: XangaPenguin
Title: [AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE] Fiance, Not Business Partner

ok all i can remember for now~

From the titles it's pretty obvious i like romance... but guess what.. I think there's absolutely nothing wrong with it xD

~ 3xil3 ~

DEAD

2008-03-08T19:07:00.002+08:00

The first half of today was boring
Never wasted so much of my life on NOTHING
Went for some fund fiesta thingy and wasted a grand total of 4 hour of my life
Can you believe it. 4 HOURS! -.-

Sis : so drama -.-
lol i agree xD
But I need to spice it up man!

Ok anyway.
This fund fiesta thingy is so not worth it.
There was to be a mass walk-cum-jog-cum-run, but since we were STRONGLY ENCOURAGED,my friends and i decided that we would just stay where we were.
Unfortunately... the weather was wonderful... So wonderful that apparently umbrella's were need to shelter us from the SUN.
We were like the only class that were using umbrella's ><
It was hilarious xD

Anyway onto the better part of my day xD
Watched a movie today - sky of love (a japanese show)
Not that bad a movie, however, the storyline was quite predictable, not very original ><
The amusing thing was,the sniffles that were heard in the later half of the movie.
It was like a chorus, only with sniffs ><
My nose started leaking around that period, so I ended up joining the sniff-ly choir xD

Hmmm after that yea planned to go home.
Only thing is, the bus took its time coming.
3 of the same bus came and left before the bus I so desperately wanted FINALLY arrived -.-!!
Ok i know it's common but i find i'm amazingly impatient today.
Don't ask me why. I'm clueless.

So yea, home now and bored.
*that's why i'm writing*
Just the thought of homework puts me off.
YES, i've tried... I will again soon...

English word of the day : Platonic - a non-sexual affectionate relationship, A simple example of platonic relationships is a deep, non-sexual (i.e. overtly romantic) friendship, not subject to gender pairings and not excluding close relatives.

Malay phrase of the day : Hidungnya mancung
(no idea meaning, only that its to do with a description of a nose ><)

Chinese phrase of the day : 痛苦是骨上的刻痕，记下了多少的悲伤.
Pain is the scar engraved into the bone, leaving evidence of our numerous hurts?
* I think i get its main point.. but no idea if its right ><*

ok i'm offically dying.
Eh scratch that.
I'm already dead.

~ 3xil3 ~

post again -.-

2008-03-07T21:11:00.001+08:00

Ok it seems that i'm almost posting weekly nowadays... Have no idea why.

Well it's the holidays as of today.
Guess what? I feel NOTHING. =.=|||
Want to know why?
It's no different from any typical school day
Teachers think one week is plenty of time
So they pile LOADS and LOADS of homework on us.
For Your Information... it's only one week for god sake!

Haiz... i'm sooooo... looking forward to the upcoming week. Can't wait at all...

Self note : Got to stop audition-ing.

Chinese phrase of the day -.- : 有一兴必有一败，有一利必有一弊。
With every win there is a lost, with every advantage there is a disadvantage.
*note its self referance and it is directly translated*
Feel free to let me know if i'm wrong ><

Malay word of the day : Sarang - nest

English word of the day : Disconsolated - hopelessly unhappy, characterized by or causing dejection; cheerless; gloomy

~ 3xil3 ~

Unwanted~

2008-03-07T20:00:00.000+08:00

Unwanted ~

I raced towards you
With my arms wide open
Longing...
Waiting...
For the hug...
For the warmth...

That i never got

I looked at your face
Your eyes
told a million
Your actions
told all

Your expressionless mask
revealed nothing
Your shuttered look
hid all
I could tell you wanted none of me

At all...

It's ok
It's alright
I've done my best
I've no regrets
However...

I give up as of now

My arms fell limp
My energy lacking
My smile vanished
My happiness vanquished
My eyes dimmed

My hopes dashed

Defeated
Desolated
Devastated
Deprived
Disconsolate

Alone...

I hold up my white flag
For all to see
I give up
and will leave peacefully
But now i am ruined

For all to see...

My failures
My hopes
My dreams
My desire
My surrenders

All crash down upon me

My time gone to waste
Were all for naught
And in your haste
to get away
you never saw

the hurt you inflicted

So are you happy now?
You really should be
You got what you wanted
To be rid of me
To let you be

So...

Do me a favour
Give me one last smile
Please i ask of you
but for one last second
that's all i want

to last me...

I shall be on my way
anywhere away from here
see you soon then
I just want to flee...
to a place

where you'll never hurt me....

-.-
ok i seriously have no idea where i get my "inspirations" from.
I sound totally EMO man!
And i so dun wanna... HAIZ!

~ 3xil3 ~

Thank you, for just being

2008-03-01T14:49:00.000+08:00

Thank you, for just being.

I'm glad you stood up for me
Don't think i'm not
Evertime I think about it
I smile
Be it on the inside
Or the outside

I may not say it
But I sure do feel it
I thank you
From the bottom of my heart
For being there
For me

Nah
Let's scratch that
You have my undying gratitude
For just BEING
Your presence alone
Sooths me

And I know
I will always be safe
For you will remain
By my side
To fight the battles
I long gave in to

Thank you
For being there
For being by my side
For being my friend
For being YOU
For just being

~ =.= ~
Ok i'm in a strange mood these few days
I can't believe i just totally sprouted that ><
But well... yea i did
So not to waste my wonderful piece of work xP
I'll just leave it here to rot xDDD

~ 3xil3 ~

You look... But you don't see

2008-02-29T23:40:00.000+08:00

You look... But you don't see

You look..
But you don't see..
I'm right before your eyes
Yet you look through me
As though I'm invisible..

Instead...
You look to your left
and your right...
Anywhere...
But at me

Only when there's no one else
When all are gone
When there is no one...
But me...
Do you then...

Turn my way..
But do you see?
Or do you just look?
I feel the akwardness...
The uncomfortable silence...

I feel used
I feel betrayed
I feel like a back up for you..
I feel angry
I feel sad

I feel jealous
I feel envious
I feel many things...
I feel unimportant
I feel unwanted

But you seem not to notice
It's only you that's important
It's only you
you think of
And its no one but..
YOU

Where do i stand then?
I'm already there
Yet I'm not
You ignore me when there is the other
and look to me when they are gone

I feel used
I feel unwanted
I feel like a back up
One you would turn to
When no one else is around

Do you care?
Do you really?
Or are they just words you say?
I stand by silently watching you
Afraid to interrupt

But I am jealous
I am envious
Of those that held you attention
I watch by the side silently...
Longing for the time...
When i would finally come ...
... First ....

~ Lol ~
I find that i sound extremely EMO
But really I'm not.
It was just a spur of the moment thing xD

~ 3xil3 ~

GAAAAAA-ness ><

2007-10-11T22:21:00.000+08:00

Lalalala~
Since i finally came bak to post on our family blog i decided i would rite smth here toooo.
Juz filling space XD
Ga im so dreading tmr.
We confirm getting bak results....
And im so not gonna do well.
Haiz
N the day after is Hari Raya
Wad a way to greet a festival
wif bad marks
This is wonderful~
Im so happi! -.-
Im hou hui-ing now. As usual, no suprise there.
But i guess i nv seem to learn my lesson.
I've gotta get bak on my feet and start frm scratch again next yr...
And hope tt i will be able to make it.
Gaaaaa it will be a v impt yr...

OKIE enuff brooding
Tmrs not here yet, but will be in like 1 and a half hours
so i still got tt time b4 i die a dreadful death.

Think positive ><
Yea so Hari Raya on the way, im probably gonna be bored to death as usual
and wooo hoo im so optimistic XD

Maybe u'll juz stick to negative tots for today XDDDD

OKOK updating now ><

2007-07-19T23:03:00.000+08:00

okie so update time. It has been 4eva since i laz came on here. And now due to the consistant perstering im here XD. Happi? wakakakaka anyway been busy lately. CCA everyday... its always 1 thing or another.

leave house 6.45am - reach home 7.oopm. Nice rite. 12 hrs -.- zzzz
Go schl go trough lessons, in between lesson read TB study for test. Recess try finish laz min hw then schl end on everage 2.30 . no lunch go cca, time varies frm 3-3.30. while waiting do as much hw as possible. or do mass cram of info 4 comin test. 6.30pm end. Go home eat, mass study again bathe and drop dead by 9. zzz

How nice is tt.

This sat oso g2g to schl. Concert to go 4. dadada~
nth more to say XD
3xil3......

zzz XD

2007-06-10T16:33:00.000+08:00

Got bak frm malaysia ytd. got bak early infact. Cause bro had to come bak to get to school on time. So i was like yawning throughout the whole day. Didnt play audi today XD. New record of 5 days straight without it. Let's see if i can make it 6 by today. Gotta learn to live wifout it. Anyway, ytd was a broing day. just sat my butt permanently stuck to the chair watching the chinese drama serial love contract on crunchyroll. Other then tt, i only unglued myself frm the chair when there was a need for the toilet or to go down and eat. And to go study. zzz. Any1 agrees with this statment maths sux? If u do, welcum to the boat XD.

3xil3