.Monday, April 14, 2008 ' 8:54 PM Y
& your love is all i ever wanted
GRRR-ness~ BOREDOM~! (other than do hw tt is)
I turn away
My cheeks aflame
What an embarresment
To see my name
Called time and time
Again and again
To hear them call out
In the waiting game
I keep quite
I pretend not to know
Who were you calling?
I really don't know
I turn around
upon your tap
As you lay your hand
Upon my back
It feels so warm
It feels so good
I feel the loss
Almost too soon
You turn away
As you see another
And i'm left alone
To wonder
Is the other of more importance?
What happens to me now?
Am i suddenly forgotten?
Am i still around?
I walk away
You don't notice
You're too busy
Talking to the other
I pretend it's nothing
I pretend not to care
But inside
I'm bleeding
I weep for the company
I never will get
I long for the care
I never will have
I wish for a friend
To call my own
One who will not forget me
When that other comes home
I feel inferior
I feel second
Always less important
Dropped when un-needed
I can't do anything
You'll think i'm petty
In fact i think i am too
So why wouldn't you agree?
I hate myself
For that ball of jealousy
That spread like wildfire
And builds up within
Waiting to explode
When it hits its limit
I hope that day will not
Be close to come as yet
I want to conquer it
Before it gets out of hand
It's eating me on the inside
It's keeping me from my friends
Why can't i just leave it be
And live happily ever after
Maybe because there's no such thing
To let it last forever
So to keep it down
I keep my distance from you
Afraid that overwhelming force
Will erupt if too near you
But i really missed those times
When i had you for myself
When i felt that it wasn't because of the other
That you became my friend
Now i feel like a third party
A part of the parcel
It seems you got me too
When you only wanted the other
I'm really sorry it became that way
Which is why i'm trying
To leave it be
And let you see
That we are not together
We are one or the other
To let you have a choice
To let you be free to chose
To chose that person
Or no other
Now with your choice open
All is clear to see
That it was just the other
And not me...
