.Friday, April 4, 2008 ' 9:34 PM Y
& your love is all i ever wanted
OK it's finally Friday...
The day I've been waiting longingly the minute Monday started.
I'm right here jumping for joy.
Yay-
ness~
Haiz...
ok i really got to learn to stop dreading school so much... maybe only then will it not be so tiring trying to drag myself each day. Pretending that it's what i like has been what I've been doing. It's the only way to go through each school day. Thinking of Friday being a day closer as the days pass, is yet another push. Without this thought, i think i would likely drop dead.
There's always two sides of the coin... The good part --- Its Friday
The bad part --- I've got 3 tests in the upcoming week which i definitely look forward to with much eager-
ness. Not to mention I'm probably going to flunk badly..
Studying never seems to be enough.
Perhaps I'm just too dumb eh?
Is it ever enough?It is ever enough?
To put in your best
To give it your all
Only to be disappointed
time
and
time
again
Is having dreams
Hopes
wishes
All just a fantasy after all?
Why is not having a target such a bad thing?
When you know you will never make it
When you know you will never meet those expectations
Heaped onto you
Why is it you make me feel worse than i do?
Step on me when I'm down
Treat me like garbage
Unworthy of you
Why is it I'm never important?
Always unseen
Always disappointed
Always unimportant
Why is it you expect so much?
When you know...
I'm stupid
And that I'll let you down
Why is it i feel alone amidst a crowd?
A part yet apart
Together yet separate
Alive yet dead
Why do i feel unwanted?
Maybe because i am
Maybe because it's true
Maybe i just want to be with you...
Why is it you just brush me aside?
Use me when needed
Dump me when done
And then ignore my mere existence
Why is it you only never comfort me?
When I need you there beside me
When I need it dearly
When I want it so
Does the sight of me irk you so?
Am i that hideous?
Am i that bad?
Am i had?
Am i nothing in your eyes?
Just a piece of junk
An ornament
A back up
I crave you attention
Even a minute of your time
A second of your notice
That you're by my side
That no matter what reason
You won't forget me
Leave me be
once you're of no need for me
I want to know
That i mean something real
That i do matter
That I do exist...
In your eyes...
~ 3
xil3 ~
